How courage, focus, and wingmen can help you tackle your fears
Three years into my eleven year Air Force flying career, my life changed when I almost died during a scuba diving trip in the Caribbean. Thirty feet under the water and exhausted from excessive use of my arms to swim, I inhaled a full lungful of water and had the most intense panic attack of my life. I literally thought I was going to die.
A week later, I found myself back in the cockpit on a training mission in bad weather. Unable to see the ground or the sky, I felt closed in. My mask tightened, my pulse quickened, and I suddenly had difficulty breathing. I became lightheaded and anxious and the panicky feeling I experienced a week ago reared its ugly head again. I screamed to myself, “Get me out of this plane!”
Within seconds, I transformed myself from a confident, fearless jet pilot to a doubtful claustrophobe. For the next eight years of my flying career I had to carry around that that huge secret. Despite that fact that my skills never suffered, if my fellow pilots found out, there was a chance I could have my wings taken away.
Every training and combat mission I flew, I had claustrophobia as my companion, waiting to attack me and spin me out of control. But I fought it. On four hour training missions over the Sea of Japan and six hour night combat missions over Iraq in the cramped cockpit of the F-16, I fought it. And I won.
I never aborted any combat mission and always mustered the courage to do my job and execute the mission. It wasn’t easy. There were times when the panic was so great that when I landed, I would walk into the squadron with my wings in my hand ready to quit. But I never did. I didn’t let my fear take over me.
So how did I do it?
- Mental Rehearsal: I envisioned having panic attacks in simulated flights while on the ground. Rather than fight it, I “befriended my fear.” I got used to the feeling in my mind and prepared to cope with the fear by shifting my focus.
- I focused on the mission: Regardless of my fear of having a panic attack, I had a job to do. It was my responsibility to live up to my commitment as a fighter pilot and soldier. If everyone quit when fear or challenge struck, nothing would get done. I had to earn my wings.
- I focused on my wingmen: No fighter pilot flies solo. We have wingmen who help us deal with emergencies and change. When I focused on my wingmen who were there to support me and who also needed me as well, it gave me more courage.
- I focused on what I loved: On every mission, I carried a set of silver angel wings that re-affirmed my faith in God. And I also carried a picture of my niece and nephew. They needed me to get back home. They gave meaning to my mission. Love is greater than fear.
I never quit on any combat mission. However, I did quit a ferry flight I was supposed to fly from Spain to the U.S. Seven hours over the Atlantic Ocean was simply too much for me to handle. I reached the limit of my courage and I aborted. I thought my wingmen would mock me for quitting, but they didn’t.
What I learned from my experiences is that by stepping outside of my comfort zone, focusing on the mission, and pushing the limits of my courage, I could do almost anything. By facing my fear and not letting it strangle me, I was able to take action, do my job, and plant the seeds to a future of amazing opportunities and personal growth.
But it also taught me that my ego was powerful than I realized. I learned that it’s ok to quit when all else fails. I don’t have to be perfect. I don’t have to beat every fear, overcome every challenge, or fly every mission.
And neither do you.
I wish you all a wonderful holiday season full of hope, joy, and great wingmen!
Never Fly Solo,
Waldo
info@yourwingman.com
Great video, great story and excellent lessons. Also good to see your wingbro featured in this piece. Keep up the nice work, Waldo!
WOO HOO!! Waldo,
That’s the best definition I’ve ever come across for “fighting your way out of a tight spot”
Glad that you managed to make it through, though – inspiring stuff !
Enjoy your Christmas & keep em comin in d Nu Year
Cheers,
Derek
Colonel,
I like the vulnerability you brought to this story. In outlining the many times you felt like quitting and the one time you did, you empower others to not only embrace the beast (fear), but comeback even stronger after the times that we might have felt like quitting or quite possibly quit. I teach my staff, my clients, and my son that the noble concept of courage can only be implemented in the face of fear. Without fear, courage is not needed. As always great story. Push it up!
Live passionately,
Jeff
Thank you kindly for the feedback Jeff. Have an awesome holiday.
Waldo
Thanks JT!
Congratulations to you and your wife on the birth of your first child! As a father of four daughters (ages 34,30 and twin 5+ yr olds) and three grandkids, you are in for the ride of your life. Hang on and enjoy them all. Kids are the best!
Great story! I am sure there are others out there that can identify with your message. I sure can. As a young kid recently out of the army’s flight school, I can remember being scared to death flying nighttime missions out in the mountains west of Chu Lai. Years later as an aviation safety officer flying a mission in Germany we ultimately called the “April Fools Day Flight” I found a need to put my Blackhawk on the ground and let some weather clear out. And even more years later while flying as an EMS Pilot having to turn around on a couple of ocassions because of the being pitch black and cruddy weather. Along the way I had written a paper – although chopped up by the editorial staff of the Army Aviation Digest – titled, “You Can Say No!” We just have to know our limitations and hopefully always make the correct decision. Happy New Years to all.
Hi Waldo,
Great story about facing fear. Some recreational scuba divers get the bug to explore cave diving. Everyone at some point goes far enough in the cave on scuba they meet the “cave monster”. The reality of how far back in the cave sets in and they start to mistrust their gear and their team (wingman).
Most do another dive and get over it. A few list all their dive gear on ebay the next day.
I’m glad you made it through! Next time your in Miami we’ll go diving!
–Matt Hoelscher
Col. & Mrs. Waldman,
Congratulations on the birth of your child. Having children is perhaps the most life changing experience/miracle that anyone can
experience. I have never had anything even come close to that experience. We have three children and seven grand children, and every one has been a miracle to us. It definitely changes your perspective about a lot of things.
Congratulations, & Best Wishes,
Charlie Cole
I just saw your story today and was moved by it. I am a Claustrophobic too. I don’t fly fighter planes, but I get on a plane almost every week for work. At one time I thought I could not never get back on plane after a massive panic attack from my previous flight. But I knew if I didn’t back on the next flight I may never work again in my field.
The story of how I got through all this and function today is to long to write here today. For people who are facing this or any fear, I would suggest the following: Face your fear and gather the courage to face it.
Study the many techniques available today. Visualization of a successful flight was big for me. Panic attacks don’t last more than a minute or two. You won’t die. And the next time you feel one coming on, say: Ok come on….. It normally goes away..
Hi Rob i can so relate to what happened to you and i know we always fight to control it…but as you and i know it CAN be controlled.I admire you for what you have done all the while maintaining control of your jet. Its a series of small victories but they do all add up.
I know you help lots of people who are suffering from this and you are a great role model.
I wish you great success.
Not sure I ever said thanks Lorrie…But I really appreciate your kind words.
Happy New year.
Waldo